Friday, 27 February 2009

Help and Advice Needed.....

Miles appart from my usual posts I am today asking all you mummys out there for your help and advice.....

As you are mostly aware I have three boys, 4,2 & 1..... well my four year old, Harrison, has recently started reception school and seems as a rule to be enjoying himself, even though we have had a little blip this week involving a few tears when I leave him...................

well...........the problem i have is........... swearing................swearing ........................ and more swearing.....

It is really awful, the F word and the TW*T word is being used continually and in the perfect contects.......

I have treid to ignore him but the just keeps on " Mummy, Mummy, Mummt TW!T Mummy Mummy F%£&ING"

I have even tapped him hand.........oh and his backside when he was swearing as we walked up the stairs......

Today I have been marching him up the stairs to his bedroom and making him stay there on his own, then when I go to get him back down I remove a toy from his box explaining to him what and why I am doing it.........

He also seems to be really agressive at the moment, full of stomping feet and slamming doors...... is this just a 4 yr old boy feeling his feet or is this the sign of things to come....

Will welcome any advice and tips you may have......

Sorry now bright and colourful photos today but I dont think you would like to see a picture of a tantrum......


xxxx

9 comments:

i cant sew said...

isnt it hard when you have sheltered your gorgeous children from all the nastiness of the world and in one foul swoop it all comes undone as they socialise with others that might not hold the same values as we do. i think you are handling it quite well. dont make a big thing of it be firm and consistent and follow through every time. good luck.
%*_*%

Rubys mamma x said...

This comment is mega long so dont worry if you dont publish it-just wanted to share...
I know how you feel! Poppy started school in sept too, when asked for a 'f(Uh)' sound, she put her hand up desperate to give an answer-but knowing my daughter well, her teacher left her till last, then asked for her answer she... said 'f**k', thats a f(uh) sound miss, my mummy says it when she drops something on her foot and it really hurts!' well-said teacher, 'foot' would have been a better one poppy....she said she had to stop herself from laughing at the time and took it in very good grace. You see, we do swear at home, not at the kids-but we do swear, she they do hear it-i cant lie! Its never happend again in school, although ive heard both girls swear then break out in fits of giggles as they think its sooo funny(mainly p*ss!).. Pops is also VERY stroppy at the moment, i hate you and door slamming is not uncommon in our house-which i think is down to respect-i dont think she respects me at all, as she wouldnt speak to step-daddy like that-no sir!...Her teaher said shes angry at school too(also said she shouldve been a boy!)and we've had lots of incidents of her being nasty to the other girls(which breaks my heart).Teacher has said to pops how about when you think you might get angry you tell me and we count to ten together so that you can breathe and calm down-ive also heard that discussing a special 'calm place' with your little one can help-maybe just the porch, or down the side of the sofa-somewhere where they can choose to put themselves to calm down-as if they're in their own little place where noone else should disturb them-just until they feel like they want to get on with whatever they were doing before.
In our house i use the naughty step-which does work with her at the time, although it wont stop her from repeating the same behaviour 10 mins later-little minx.
Anyway, i hope some of ths helps, its hard being a mummy!!! xxxx

bekimarie said...

My eldest little boy is 19 now and we've been through all the different phases and that's what it is, a phase.
I know that won't make you feel any better at the moment but he will out grow it.
When Ben was 4 he told me to f*** off so I tried to scare him by rubbing the top of the washing up liquid on his tongue but accidentaly squeezed and then gave him a drink of water....DUH! bubbles coming out of his mouth for ages lol!
I have to say though he did't swear at me again.
Havae a good weekend
Hugs
Beki xxx

p.s you can always try ignoring him when he swears at you, if he doesn't get a reaction from you, he may well stop xxx

serendipitylovesnewyork said...

I agree with Becki Marie, ignore him when he does swear, which I know will be hard but as you know kids like a reaction so if you dont react he will probably get bored and think its not working and do something else another tip I read was to pretend another word was a swear word, someting like 'pop' so if you dropped something say 'oh pop' so he would think its something he cant say!!

MelMel said...

I have no children but work with them...for the last 19 yrs.....under the age of 3....the time out step...over 3 explain its rude and that you will take away...TV time...a treat they wanted.....computer time...stuff like that.....
My niece has been coming to mine using less than classy language....so at the mo High Schools musical is the treat I take away...and she adores it.....soon stopped!
Good luck...as I say I'm not a Mum so see it differently....but passing knowledge on to my parents has worked a treat....then we are all singing from the same hymn sheet....:>))

Lace hearts said...

Oh poor you, that's so hard. I don't think there's any easy answers - it sounds as if you are doing a brilliant job. I agree that ignoring as much as you can - perhaps explaining that you won't listen to him when he says rude words, and perhaps taking away a treat, but praising him after a couple of hours of no swearing and perhaps rewarding him - e.g I'm so proud of you not swearing for the last three hours, you can have 30 mins of television or whatever he loves to do. Would that work, maybe? There's no easy answers - being a parent is a hard job and like I said it sounds as if you are doing brilliantly. Hugs xxx

Bobo Bun said...

When my eldest, now 8, started school she stuck her tongue out all the time. Knew she'd learnt it from the older kids and she was impressed. It's horrible how other kids can influence yours like that, but I think we all have it and then they move on to something else and we worry about that.

Have you spoken to the teacher to say what you're going through, then they can work with you on it. Might help. I've always found when school knows if my girls aren't happy or having a problem it gets solved quickly if we're all doing something.

Other thought is that we make swearing funny so that it's kind of the bad stuff mummy and daddy do and they can tell us off for saying say dogs a..e and laughing. I'm always getting told off around here.

Best of luck
Lisa x

Things Hand Made said...

ignore.... if they see it has no effect it looses it value but that quite tough to do when grandma is in the room!

julia said...

We have a rule in this house that we can swear in the house but NEVER anywhere else and it seems to work. I have to say that both of us do swear which is very childish I know but sometimes I just can't help it. I always think the best way to deal with it is to ignore it, once they realise it's having no effect they get bored very quickly!
Thanks for your lovely comment on my last post, I have to say that that's the tidiest the house has looked for weeks, normally I don't tidy or craft, I'm such a lazy bugger!
Have a fab weekend
Julia xx